


One Hundred Prayers

by onlyweknow



Series: Cellular Dystrophy [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Reichenbach, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 13:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/369594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyweknow/pseuds/onlyweknow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock and John write the texts they'd never send after the Fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Hundred Prayers

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics in this fic are from the song "Hundred" by The Fray.

> “The how I can’t recall,
> 
> Now I’m staring at what once was the wall.
> 
> Separating east and west,
> 
> Now, they meet amidst the broad daylight.”

_I hate you. - JW_

_I’d kill you myself if I could. - JW_

_No, no, that’s wrong. - JW_

_Why would you do this to me? - JW_

_To us? - JW_

**I only hope that one day you can forgive me. - SH**

_The sun’s shining. - JW_

_You’re dead and the sun is shining. - JW_

_How twistedly ironic. - JW_

**A bit hard to hide when it’s so bright out. - SH**

**I let Molly cut my hair. - SH**

**You’d laugh. - SH**

_They found his body. - JW_

_If he was already dead, why did you jump? - JW_

_Is this some sick joke? - JW_

**I’ve never felt sentiment before now. - SH**

**It isn’t crutial to the mission. It’s unneccesary. - SH**

**But when I think of you, it won’t go away. - SH**

**It aches. - SH**

_They expect me to sleep at the flat. - JW_

_How could they think that’s okay? - JW_

_It’s like that face on the wall is mocking me. - JW_

> “So, this is where you are,

> And this is where I am.

> Somewhere between unsure,

> And a hundred.”

_They want me to write your eulogy. - JW_

_I’ve been staring at a blank screen for hours now. - JW_

_What could I possibly say to sum you up? - JW_

**The mind is not a mystery to me. - SH**

**The heart is a different matter entirely. - SH**

**That was always your area. - SH**

_Your funeral was today. - JW_

_You would’ve hated it. - JW_

_Greg was there. - JW_

_He kept the press away. - JW_

_Said he owed you a favor. - JW_

_I think it’s just his way of saying he believed in you. - JW_

**Funerals are so unnecessary. - SH**

**How easily redeemed I become when I’m “dead.” - SH**

**There’s a cameraman outside. - SH**

**Lestrade punched him in the face. - SH**

**He’s not so bad.. Greg. - SH**

**Why are you crying again? - SH**

> “It’s hard, I must confess,

> I’m banking on the rest to clear away.

> ‘Cause we have spoken everything,

> Everything short of I love you.”

_People call me a widow now. - JW_

_Would you even care? - JW_

_It seems like they talk more now then they ever did before. - JW_

_I wonder what you’d say. - JW_

_What were we, Sherlock? - JW_

**I’ve learned something from all this. - SH**

**“The great Sherlock Holmes, learn something?” You’d be so predictable. - SH**

**Friends are a hindrance. - SH**

**Slows down the brain, blurs the senses. - SH**

**Makes you feel. - SH**

**But you’re different. You’re no ordinary man. - SH**

**With you, I’m better. - SH**

**Without you.. I’m still processing. - SH**

_You didn’t even give me a chance. - JW_

_I had so many things I needed to say. - JW_

_You are a hero. - JW_

_You’re a genius. - JW_

_You’re gone. - JW_

**I found a man today. - SH**

**Army sniper. Maybe you knew him. - SH**

**He compared himself to you. - SH ******

**He left with a broken arm. - SH**

> “You right where you are,

> From right where I am.

> Somewhere between unsure,

> And a hundred.”

_I don’t really sleep anymore - JW_

_I just stare at the ceiling. - JW_

_Sometimes I black out for a few hours. - JW_

_I try to stop. - JW_

_Because when I do, all I see is you falling. - JW_

_And the sound of gunshots. - JW_

**Sleep is irrelevent. - SH**

**You told me more of it might help. - SH**

**These nightmares are like a fever. - SH**

**I can’t shake them off. - SH**

> “Somewhere between unsure,
> 
> And a hundred.
> 
> And who’s to say it’s wrong?
> 
> And who’s to say it’s not right.
> 
> Where we should be for now?”

_I tried to look for your violin. It’s missing. - JW_

_You would’ve killed me if I touched it, anyway. - JW_

**I went into the flat when you were out. - SH**

**I took one of your jumpers. - SH**

**It smells like you. - SH**

**You can’t hide in the flat forever. - SH**

_I need some air. - JW_

_I feel like I’m suffocating. - JW_

_I’m so used to your constant string of conversation. - JW_

_I swear, I can hear you even now. - JW_

_You’re an ass, you know that? - JW_

> “So, this is where you are,
> 
> And this is where I am.
> 
> So, this is where you are,
> 
> And this is where I’ve been.”

_I can’t take it anymore. - JW_

_This is killing me. - JW_

**This is harder than I anticipated. - SH**

**It’s like dying might have been easier. - SH**

_I owe you so much. - JW_

_I owe you everything. - JW_

**Without you, I don’t feel whole. - SH**

**This is foreign to me. - SH**

_There’s just one thing I need to say. - JW_

_Just once. - JW_

**I’ve never said this before. - SH**

_I loved you, Sherlock. - JW_

**I love you, John. - SH**

> “And this is where I’ve been,
> 
> And this is where I’ve been.
> 
> Somewhere between unsure.
> 
> And a hundred.”

_I’m so alone. - JW_

**I’m so alone. - SH**

_I need you to come home. - JW_

[Message Sent.]

**I’m coming home. - SH**

[Message Sent.]


End file.
